Dear ABBY: I am in a relationship with an older man with two ex-wives. I have met both. I don’t mind them. My last ex-wife and I get along well. She usually calls me because he won’t answer his phone for her. I don’t like the first ex-wife at all (I talked to her) because she lied to me about him.
This woman calls her children and they tell her to call him (which he sneaks off to do), among other things. She talks about two of her children with him (allegedly his), and she cheated on him many times. Whenever we see her, which is usually at one of the children’s houses, she or he runs to hug the other. I think this is very wrong and I have said something to him twice.
am The wrong? am i jealous He says they don’t want to be with each other, they’re just friends, but I don’t believe her. Sounds to me like she’s trying to start trouble. (Not to mention, one of the kids remarked, “If mommy wanted it, she could have it.”) I respect your opinion. Please help me. – IS HE RIGHT OR WRONG?
DEAR RIGHT OR WRONG: Many divorced couples try to keep things amicable for the sake of their children. Your twice-married lover may be one of them. If you believe what he says, his first ex-wife is unlikely to destroy your relationship unless your insecurities allow it. If you can’t take this man’s word for it, you shouldn’t be together anymore. What the child said did not help the situation. Please don’t let this cause problems in your relationship with their father.
Dear ABBY: I filed for divorce nine months ago. The judge signed my papers six weeks ago. I was with my alcoholic ex for 17 years, married for 12. I knew my marriage was over a year ago so I was preparing.
Four months ago, I met “Aaron”, a man I really like. He feels the same, but my sisters think I shouldn’t be thinking about a relationship. My children are grown and out of the house. They’ve met Aaron and are like, “Whatever makes you happy,” but I’m afraid if my sisters find out I’m seeing someone, they’ll be negative. I really want them to know how happy I am, but I’m not sure if I should say anything yet. Please help. – FREE, NOT FREE, IN IOWA
Dear FREE, NOT FREE: You have just come out of a long and difficult marriage, which must have been stressful and frustrating. Right now you are on an emotional high. Your sisters are giving you good advice. Slow down!
If what you and Aaron have together is as good as you think it is, keep seeing him and get to know him better. Don’t hide it from your sisters and introduce it. But when you do, let them know you’re not jumping from the frying pan into the fire and plan to spend time getting to know him before making any permanent decisions. You have earned this right.
FOR THOSE WHO CELEBRATE ROSH HASHANA: At sunset tonight, the Jewish New Year begins. During this time of solemn introspection, I wish my Jewish readers “L’shana tova tikatevu” – to be enrolled in the Book of Life and have a great year.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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